In Which Tobi and Hidan Discover I'm a Banana
by Lil' DeiDei
Summary: The reason the Akatsuki no longer allow Tobi and Hidan anywhere near a computer. Crackfic. No pairings. I kick ass at writing summaries.


The following story is brought to you by Jill's strange and slightly demented mind, with the slight help of Howard, who forced Jill to watch the "I'm a Banana" song on YouTube. If you've never seen it, go watch it. Now. You will never be the same. And it will never leave your head. I have no idea who owns the _I'm a Banana_ song, but I almost feel sorry for them. Kishimoto Masashi owns _Naruto_ and I definitely feel sorry for him because I am going to kill him if Naruto and Hinata don't get together.

Wow, this is insanely popular. Odd. Anyway, I drew Tobi's banana costume on Paint. You can ogle my skillz here: http: / lildeidei .deviantart .com/#/ d2ul7lz (Remove the spaces... cause it might not work otherwise.)

**In Which Tobi and Hidan Discover the **_**I'm a Banana**_** Song**

"Senpai! Senpai! Senpai! Can I use your computer?" Tobi begged.

"No, un."

"Please?"

"No, un."

"Please?"

"No, un."

"Please? Please? Please?"

"No, un."

"Fine, I'll use my own."

_Why didn't you just do that in the first place, un?_ Deidara growled in his mind, glaring at Tobi with the Eyes of Anger.

Tobi skipped happily out of the room, ignorant of the death plans Deidara was forming in his mind. "Lalalala," Tobi sang as he jumped down the stairs one at a time, doing a bunny-hop to the kitchen. "Hi, Kisame-san!" Tobi shouted at Kisame, who had just entered the room.

Itachi, sitting innocently at the table, winced at the noise. Kisame merely growled under his breath.

Tobi shook his head sadly as he hopped towards the coffee maker. "He's just not a morning person—fish. Whatever." Tobi went back to humming as he made himself some coffee.

Itachi watched in horror from the table. _Tobi is having coffee? Nooooooooo! He'll be even stranger than usual!_

"Lalala," Tobi sang some more as he left the kitchen, coffee cup in hand with a little plastic sippy lid over it so it wouldn't spill. Tobi was no longer trusted with normal cups since he had a tendency to spill everything. Plus, he was going into the computer room, and he wasn't really supposed to have a drink in there… so he figured, better safe than sorry!

"Morning, Hidan-san!" Tobi shouted as he opened the glass door to the Akatsuki's computer room.

"Good morning, Tobi," Hidan greeted pleasantly.

Tobi stopped walking and stared at Hidan in shock. "Oooh, it's because you sacrificed someone already," he realized when he saw the blood on Hidan's pink nightgown.

Hidan nodded happily.

"Watcha doin'?" Tobi asked, sitting down at the chair in front of his desk. It was just a normal black office chair, since Leader-sama wouldn't let them get anything prettier! Tobi wanted to personalize his, but Leader-sama said, "No."

"I'm playing Neopets," Hidan told him. "My little skeith is eating all my stuff."

"That stinks," Tobi said. "I have a bat thing."

Hidan nodded.

"But I don't want to play Neopets," Tobi continued. "I like to starve mine, but they never die."

Hidan stared at the man-boy with slight shock. "That's surprisingly… evil."

Tobi shrugged. "I'm going on YouTube!" he cheered. "There's some videos I want to watch!"

"What else would you do on YouTube?" Hidan wondered.

Tobi ignored him, and plugged his headphones into his computer. He began watching whatever videos it was he said he wanted to view, and Hidan went back to trying to put items into his Neopet's store instead of feeding them to his skeith.

A few minutes later, Tobi burst out laughing. He was very loud. And then he started jumping up and down in his chair.

"Tobi, what the heck are you doing?" Hidan asked, even though Tobi couldn't hear him.

Whatever it was Tobi was doing, it didn't stop for ten minutes, which is the amount of time it took Hidan to decide he actually did want to know badly enough to move from his chair.

Hidan yanked the headphones out of Tobi's ears and said, "What are you doing?"

"Oh. Tobi's watching a video," Tobi said.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "I got that. But what video?"

"Oh. Why didn't you ask?" Tobi asked, oblivious to Hidan's eye roll. "I'm watching the _I'm a Banana_ song."

Hidan blinked. "The what?"

"The _I'm a Banana_ song. It's really catchy."

Hidan stared at him. "Show me," he said.

Tobi turned back to his computer and unplugged the headphones, then restarted the video. He put it on full screen and rolled his chair over so Hidan could see.

"What, Greg?" the girl on the video said.

"I'm a Banana!" "Greg" shouted.

Hidan blinked.

Tobi snickered.

"I'm a banana, I'm a banana…"

LINE BREAK

Deidara decided it would maybe not be such a bad idea to enact one of his plans. After all, Tobi had been annoying the whole Akatsuki for a very long time now. And if he used Plan 1,234,875, no one would suspect Deidara was the one to kill the stupid masked idiot.

Deidara cackled manically as he walked down the stairs, unmindful of the chaos said idiot was currently planning with the man in the pink nightgown.

LINE BREAK

"Ready?" one of the men whispered, then giggled.

"Yeah! You?"

"Yep! Senpai will be so surprised!"

"We should get everyone in the living room first," the second man whispered.

"Ooh, good idea!"

"Come on," the second man said.

LINE BREAK

"Why are we all sitting here?" Itachi asked. "I have things to do."

"Another coat of nail polish, you mean, un?" Deidara asked, sneering slightly.

Itachi nodded. "Exactly."

"And that insult when waaaay over his head," Konan whispered.

Deidara snorted.

"I'm hungry," Zetsu said.

Everyone shifted away from him.

"Tobi, Hidan," Pein said. "How long will this take? I do have things to do as well."

"Just a second," Tobi's voice came sing-songing from the hallway outside the living room. "Hey, Kakuzu-san, will you help us?"

"No."

"Senp—?"

"No, un."

"Konan-san?"

"Let's just do it alone," Hidan's voice said.

"Okay!" Tobi cleared his throat. "Tobi and Hidan Theatre would like to present: The _I'm a Banana_ Song!"

"The what?" Deidara asked as they all exchanged nervous glances.

Hidan walked out to the living room and pretended to … do something with the television. It almost looked like he was washing dishes, except he was holding a pillow and a VHS tape.

"Hey," Tobi said when he walked in the room.

"Hi, Tobi," Hidan said in a frightened sort of voice.

"I'm a banana," Tobi stated.

"What?"

"I'm a banana."

"What happened to your clothes?"

"I'm a banana!" Tobi shouted. "I'm a banana! I'm a banana!"

A beating theme began to play in the background, and the lights began to flick on and off as Deidara's disco ball was used to create a "cool" lighting effect on Tobi, who was now wearing a banana suit.

"I'm a banana! I'm a banana! I'm a banana! I'm a banana! I'm a banana! I'm a banana! I'm a banana!" Tobi shouted, growing more and more anxious sounding towards the end.

By the light switch, Hidan was bobbing up and down with a big goofy grin on his face. He seemed to be having fun.

The rest of the Akatsuki, however, were more than a little weirded out, sitting on the couch in shock. More like, they were pressed backwards into the couch's cushions in shock.

"What are they doing?" Itachi hissed.

"I can't bear to watch!" Kisame said.

"_You_ can't bear to watch?" Zetsu demanded. "I really am part banana!"

The room went quiet.

Then, "I'M A BANANA!"

And Tobi and Hidan ran out of the room.

"Never allow either of those two to watch YouTube again," Pein said quietly.

The Akatsuki nodded.

"And "Tobi and Hidan Theatre" is also banned," he continued.

The Akatsuki nodded.

"And we will never help them make costumes, right, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"Good," Pein said, just as Tobi and Hidan began making waffles in the kitchen and shouting the banana song at the top of their lungs.

"I'M A BANANA!" the y shouted together.

"Dear Kami," Pein said, putting his hand to his head.

LINE BREAK

A week later, Tobi and Hidan had finally stopped shouting the _I'm a Banana_ song at every possible moment.

Because they had discovered the _Gummi Bear_ song instead.


End file.
